A letter to KB...

I sit down to write about my adulation for a man who has inspired me in a big way. While he was at his creative best, I either wasn't born or was very young to understand him. That would make me sometimes think I was born a generation too late to admire him as and when his works were released back in those days. But he having been the timeless creator that he is, his works haven't still lost even a bit of sheen for me to catch up on them 20 years later. When I matured enough to understand truly his emotions, I endeavored to collect all his works, see and experience them. It was kind of easy in this technologically advanced world. This blog is an out-pour of my amusement for him after doing so. While my fascination for him can never cease, my words could desert his true genius from you.

Yet, I thought I shall try my best. What better way there is to show my fascination for him than writing a letter to him...

Dear KB,

            I was 12 when my parents took me to the theatre to see 'Parthaley Paravasam' for a family outing on a Sunday evening. Like any twelve year would, I was expecting a pacy movie with fights, thrills and fun. Two and a half hours went by; the movie was a yawn for the kiddish me. I didn't understand what was going on. All I got was that the hero and heroine married, departed and remarried. But not the logic behind that. Why would a guy re-marry the same girl he got a divorce with? Is he nuts? 

After a couple of years, I saw 'Punnagai Mannan' on TV. It was a strange case too; the hero commits suicide with his lover, escapes death, falls in love again, marries and dies in an accident. Seriously, why does fate have to be so cruel in your stories? Being at the wrong age to understand these things, I hated your movies. That was also when some of your tele-serials were aired on channels. One called 'Sahana' was one that my entire family couldn't afford to miss at 9 pm everyday. I didn't get to control the TV remote back then and had to see 'Sahana' while having dinner daily. It didn't make much sense to me either; why would someone give her child for adoption when she herself doesn't have a child to fall back to? I dug deep and saw the prelude of this epic, 'Sindhu Bhairavi'; I was 15; a man falling in love with another women while having a lovable wife? No way, I thought I've had enough of you and was contented with the fascination that cricket had to offer. 

At 18, I accidentally bumped into 'Thillu Mullu', and rolled on the floor laughing. By then my age also helped me answer a few questions that your movies had thrown at me. I no more liked mere kicking and dancing in movies. Entertainment, I understood, was a play with one's emotional senses. I still couldn't however acknowledge things like a divorcee re-marrying, falling in love with someone else after marriage, living together before marriage? At this age, I at least grew curious to know your justifications for all this. At 21, I finished my engineering and had some time off before I joined a company. I finally had the time and mind to follow up on your works.

To my pleasant surprise, those movies which my childhood shrugged off  seemed perfectly acceptable now. Those movies showed how much our society has influenced us into believing wrong notions and myths. By then, 'Parthaley Paravasam' had become an all-time favourite of mine; A dialogue from 'Sahana' had stayed with me through all these years. It was about how one should die a thousand times,each time after every bitter experience, to help forget and start afresh with a new life of hope, "This is my 423th birth", I still vividly remember was the exact line the character uses to emphasize the importance of moving on in life. For someone just into the twenties, movies like 'Apoorva Ragangal, Kalki, Moondru mudichu, Avargal, Aval oru thodarkathai, Iru kodugal and Arangetram' taught me why the society must be kept at a distance to lead our lives in peace. Marriage, after all, is a society driven ceremony. If we look beyond the surface about the concept of marriage, it is just all about the two people involved and has nothing to do with the society. Divorce and intricacies in relationship needn't, rather shouldn't, be judged from a society's eye. Nothing is right or wrong. Everything is subjective and personal. I now see no difference in living together or having sex before and after marriage. It is all in the mind. I should say all these thoughts coming out of your movies, chiseled my broad-mindedness. 

Isn't the way your female lead characters portrayed in 'Aval oru thodarkathai' and 'Premi', the way how a women should be? I atleast dream that is how my girl should be. The honesty and integrity in characterizations, the dignity in dialogues got me to respect you very highly. As I began to understand what life really was, I liked your movies so much more. I learned what decency is; even started recognizing how should one go about living life: simple, ambitious, courageous and ultra-positive from each of your characters, both good and evil. I began paying attention to every detail. 

I have always been awestruck by the way you highlight certain mannerisms for each character and use symbolic references for specific emotions. There has been times I have literally shed a tear; 'Kai alavu Manasu, Premi, Unnal Mudiyum Thambi, Achamillai Achamillai' come to my mind right away. Movies like 'Varumaiyin Niram Sivappu, Thaneer Thaneer' were epic depictions of a poor society, stressing the need to work for its betterment in a hard fair way. Films like 'Azhagan, Ek duje Ke liye' made all of us a lover boy/girl. Besides, most importantly, you deserve heaps of credit for breaking the society's cliches on women. You carried a torch for women's rights and voiced their concerns through most, if not all, of your works daring the society to correct its outlook. Women have to agree that men can sometimes be more of a feminist than their fellow females on seeing you. Its you who made me a feminist as well. 

To put it simply, you never cease to amaze me, Hence it makes it hard for me to end writing this letter. I shall keep singing your praise, forever, to everybody I know whom I think would have the class to acknowledge and admire your works. I sign off thanking you for what you have been and given to me.

                                               Yours lovingly,

                                                    Vignesh

Now, if you are wondering why does this have to be a blog-post, its for people who like K Balachander to celebrate him; its more for the people who don't know about him to help follow his creations, enjoy, appreciate and treasure his take on life and the person he is. I wish to take pleasure in making you feel good about seeing some of the best movies and serials there has ever been created. 

Regards,

Viggy!  

    

Sweet Nothings...

Its that time of the week when you run out of ideas to have fun - a Saturday night. It was 10 pm. I was about to board my bus from Manchester back to Coventry via Birmingham. After two days of spending time with a bunch of cool friends, I was preparing to get back to University routine. Being bored at waiting for my bus, and tired of the music on my phone, decided to ring my friend for a 'chumma' talk.

"Hi Maya", I said sounding very excited.
"Hello, whats'up", she said.

Apparently there was another friend of ours she was talking to when I had called her. She brought him in through a conference call. I didn't complain. I had a little over 2 hours of travel in the bus, I could chat all the way long. After all, calls were free between the three of us and the UK phone networks are good through the route between the two big cities, Manchester and Birmingham.

"Hi people, what are we chatting about now?", Nikhil jumped in after the usual procedure of asking each other how we were doing and the like.

When there was nothing there to talk about and nothing else to do for the three of us being at three different places, the best thing to do was to talk random things and give each other company. We did just that.

"I am gonna miss the long serene drives, the lawns and the weather in the UK once I get back to India", I said looking out of the window when the sun was just about setting into the red sky at 10 pm.

"I miss having a boyfriend now", Maya replied to second me on the romantic ambience that the UK had on offer.

"Warwick is a perfect place for romance; the lakes in the campus, the chill evening winds, the greenery all around; Gosh! how much I am gonna miss it as well", Nikhil added.

All of us were talking this way given it was within 2 months to leave the campus and enter the real world. The care-free first 9 months of being together in the university made us so close as a group of friends; we shared every bit we had in us to each other.

"So go get a boyfriend, Maya", I rubbed it in to get her talking...

"I can't go fishing for one; it has to happen", Maya is more mature than her age,22, suggests.

"Hmm...see, it just happens like it did for me", Nikhil was showing off that he had a girlfriend.

"But I don't have her here now", Nikhil started lamenting like he has been doing for almost a month now as his girlfriend (another mutual friend of ours') was away, back home to India, on a vacation from her studies in Warwick.

"Atleast you have one", Maya sighed in regret.

"ah!, I just feel like enjoying all this being single. My arranged marriage will find me a girl soon". I said expecting a big debate on the cards.

"Please, don't get us started now...you and your arranged marriage concept; keep it to yourself", Maya crushed the topic.

"She has been on my mind all the time; 30 days is like 3 years", Nikhil went on like every lover boy would with his cliches.

"That's another thing..long-distance relationships, it is just so difficult", Maya took Nikhil's side.

"Distance in a relationship doesn't make any difference to it." I did my bit to differ as always.

All three of us were different in who we were, like normally the case between friends. That served well for us to have interesting fun debates all the time, yet not necessarily conclusive though.

"You need the girl nearby to keep it going; you never have been in a relationship; you could never know", Nikhil shot back.

"It means a lot when someone holds your hand and is by your side all the time", Maya backed Nikhil up. Maya had been through a relationship before. She spoke of experience too.

"Its a feeling; even if the person is not around, you could feel that way", I sounded like Aristotle.

"That's fine, but how long will the feeling sustain without the person really around?", Maya asked. Maya was a girl's perspective which all of us respected. She perhaps had a point.

"I just want her now; just don't care on what you guys are going on and on about", Nikhil went back to his usual self.

As the conversation kept going forward, the bus reached closer to Birmingham. I loved the murmuring I was doing, with everyone near me in the bus sleeping; one even snoring.  The ambience was so different from the usual conversations we used to be having. To talk your self out to two close friends, without the feeling of being judged, in such a lonely long 2 hour drive all by whispering, gazing out at the window every now and then, was something I started to cherish even while I was doing it.

"Do you like your partner to be possessive?", Maya thought of something to take the conversation forward.

"I want my girl to be possessive; she should own me; she needs to feel she has the right to tell me what to do and what not to", I sounded like I badly needed a girl.

"That's love at its best", I carried on.

"Whatever..., I just don't want such men; Being over-possessive kills love", Maya gave us the girl's angle again.

"I wouldn't feel good to be asked where I go and who I see? That doesn't show love, does it? It only shows lack of trust...", Maya went on. She was right as usual, I felt.

"But I am talking about the partner showing that she cares for me all the time; that doesn't have to mean a lack of trust in me necessarily. She could have a world of trust in me, while she still has to question me if she sees me talking to or looking at another girl; How cute would that be; to show she owns me, to prove I mean so much to her.", I thought I made a strong argument for my case.

And what was Nikhil doing while all this..,

"who cares, I just want my girl back...", Nikhil said to remind the two of us that he was still around in the conference call.

The bus neared Birmingham Airport and the clocked ticked 11.30 pm; I would reach my university in Coventry in a bit by 12.10 am.

"I thought our conversation will help me not think of her; but you guys are just making it worse", Nikhil said.
'Oh boy, it must be tough to be in love' , I told myself.

"Anyways, I need to go to Church; its Sunday tomorrow; I better go sleep now", Nikhil said so, more to skype with his girlfriend tomorrow early in the morning rather than worry about going to the Church.

"Seri da...I know why you have to go to bed now; You better sleep and get up on time tomorrow morning; or else you 've had it from her". I giggled.

"Alright, lets plan dinner for tomorrow together", Maya said.

"Yeah, we could do that. The football world cup final is happening tomorrow; we could all see it over the dinner. I ll batter chicken and grill it. We ll have it with chappattis at my place", Nikhil said.

"yeah, gr8. I am sure we'll all have a nice evening then!", I said.

Nikhil would argue he is the best cook amongst the group of us, but again I have agreed to disagree with him as always.

"Alright, see u both tomorrow then...Good night guys", Nikhil said and waited our replies before he could hang up.

"Sure...Good night", Maya and I said and all of us ended the 1 hour and 30 minute conference call.

All of us must have had such phone/texting conversations; nothing potentially great about them; not the most happening discussions in the planet; sometimes not the most interesting ones either; perhaps the world wouldn't have changed one bit if they didn't happen. Yet, they are among the most sweetest of events in life. We wouldn't even take a moment out to appreciate how much we enjoyed such cute conversations with friends, family and other dear ones. They may gradually fade with time, as life eventually does. I thought this read would help all of us savour such beautiful conversations that may not be be relevant down the many years to come.

At this point while you are reading if you are reminded of such a conversation you had once had, it would have made my day and time purposeful.

To the two of my friends mentioned in this blog conversation (they would know for themselves, though I 've not used their original names here) and a whole group of other friends in Warwick and elsewhere with whom I have had many such conversations over the years, I dedicate this blog to.

P.S. the grill chicken was absolutely delicious the next day. I give it to you...you have to be the best cook amongst us. Half the credit goes to your flatmate, who hosted the dinner with you that day.

With this I'm ending the phone call now,
Viggy!!!
    


    

The Warwick Days...

I am writing this blog post just after posting, "Didn't know life could be so much fun; feels like never before..." on Facebook. That still is an understatement to what life's been here at the university of Warwick. I thought I needed to pen this feeling down as I feel it, to savour it as well as I can. I am sure, all of you'll reading this would have had their share of such colourful days in life. As they say, 'God is equally kind and unkind to all human beings'. So when I write my Warwick days here, read as your pleasant days and relate to it as your diary. If you feel as I feel now, I would feel great.

So, here I go...

One day my dad came up to me and said, "Thambi, you should have an experience of studying abroad. I believe you would learn a lot and be a better person". It all started then..,

There my imagination went wild. No, (trust me) I wasn't fantasizing about all the fun elements that were on offer abroad. I just thought it would be a wonderful experience. Living a life in a foreign country doing every small thing by myself was something I was looking forward to.

So, all set for my masters in the UK, landed in London on the 21st of Sept, 2013. Oh, that's still a fresh memory. Flat 100.5 it was in the university accommodation. I remember dragging big suitcases totaling to 55 kgs into my room with all the strength I had. And boy, I needed every bit of it. Moving in here was such a hard time. Everything around me smelled foreign that day. Have you had the experience of going to a foreign place and/or meeting a foreigner whom you could barely relate to? That would somewhat explain how I felt that day. For a while, until I figured out the wi-fi settings and got a local sim-card, I virtually couldn't connect to anyone. The world seemed non-existent around me. I should confess, I thought I had no one for me for a small second. When I opened my suitcase, I opened to something emotional. My mother had packed pictures of God to carry with. I picked them up in my hands. Tears rolled down unconsciously. Thankfully as I look back now, they told me that I was not alone. I felt attached to almighty like never before. As dramatic as it may sound now, it actually was a moment of truth.

Then that evening got tricky, I had to cook to save me from starving. That is when I thought the one who invented Maggi noodles (or should I say the company) deserves a nobel prize. Slowly I learnt to cook, buy groceries and feed myself well enough. Did I then have a choice anyways? Now, honestly, I enjoy cooking. It is so much fun. especially to invite friends over, cook in their company and dine together. It is one of the experiences I totally cherish in Warwick.

As classes began, I started getting used to this country. Made friends; some wonderful ones too. As days went by, I found my space in here. My lifestyle changed for the better from what I had in Chennai. I could now feel confident to live in any corner of the world. I was set mentally for the long haul. And boy, didn't the UK treat me well from then on!!!

My idea of fun here was different from what you normally would think. I liked calling people over for coffee. A lot can happen over a coffee, you see; and that too in a freezing room temperature, imagine how a sip of hot coffee would feel like; heaven wouldn't feel as good. I enjoyed the cold weather in the night; something (or should I say the only thing) I didn't have in Chennai. Listening to melodic song numbers on your earphones during an evening stroll being hit by the chilly winds is an experience beyond what words can describe. That's when music and lyrics helped me understand what out-of-the-world actually was. During how many such times have I missed the girl of my life. Only because I have chosen to wait, as she would come by and show me that it was worth all the wait I did.

Pleasure is not about where you live, it is about how you live. Joy is not about the place you live in, it is about who you live with. When you have a family of friends, what can I say to justify what they mean to me? What is fun when without the people to enjoy it with. Some memories with them will never fade away. The trip to Leicester to celebrate Diwali'13, the trip to Liverpool, the new year night in London, the two days in Manchester, the weekend when a few of them from Manchester came down to Warwick and stayed over, the so many dinner outings we have had, the long dining table conversations we have had, all remain etched in the pages of my diary like a painting.

Then there was these odd night-outs to the clubs where I would enjoy socializing in the background of loud music. Gosh, you should see how people dress for these parties, sometimes it would make me think that was the epitome of beauty that I would get to see in a lifetime; some other times it would make me think they were simply better off in a simple shirt and a jean. I would feel easy to go in with the T-shirt I wore in the morning for class. That wouldn't surprise you if you know me well enough. I don't drink, perhaps that is why I find clubbing amusingly interesting. All said and done, clubbing is something you should never miss doing when with a big bunch of friends.

The way we celebrated birthdays here deserve a special mention; we would plan big surprises (atleast we thought they were so), cut the cake, feed each other and sit up the whole night chatting away. I remember going shopping for one's b'day all day; for another's b'day we made carrot halwa; things that I didn't see myself doing even remotely. I enjoyed celebrating a friend's b'day on a lawn with a picnic feel to it playing Frisbee. The birthday person in each case would then be warm in treating all of us in a nice restaurant.

I wasn't somebody who looked forward to a b'day; planning and celebrating it in a grand way wasn't my kind of a thing. I saw it to be just another day made special by wishes from dear ones. But these guys have shown me the way to how each b'day should be treasured.

Having said what I have, I would lie if I say I haven't had bitter experiences with some of the friends. In fact, some months during term 2 was very gloomy personally for reasons only known to me. But hey, that's what had made me the well-rounded person I guess I am now. Life has now come a full circle.

Another thing I had fun doing was play cricket in England. I would go for the net sessions in the university cricket club; with cricket crazy friends around, we would book an indoor hall and play tennis ball cricket. When would I get to do that again after here. I would also go play table tennis as well, my new found love; playing TT with very skillful Chinese and winning (although rarely) would make my day. Oh, and I should tell you about the badminton games within our friends group; they were fun and competitive too. Nowadays, we have decided to go jogging together. Let's see how that goes. The scenic beauty around should help us keep at it if not the idea for a workout.  

If you are wondering did I study here at all, I totally give it to you. I should have done a bit more of studying here, after all that's the reason I am here for. I enjoyed my classroom lectures and group works that I had; to interact and work with people of different cultures and befriend them was great. I could understand how different yet interconnected people in this world are. To appreciate differences and honour each of their uniqueness is the way forward. I remember exchanging wishes for each other's festivals. After all the Halloween, the spring festival and Diwali are just different names for the same happiness. We shared each others' happiness here. One thing I couldn't fully achieve, after trying, was to learn Mandarin here. If my Chinese friends are reading this, you have a serious job on your hands guys.

The most favourite time at Warwick so far has to be when my parents came here for a two week vacation.. It felt nice to plan and take them around the UK; made them meet my friends over snacks and coffee. I am sure they enjoyed their time here as much as I did.

Finally a word on the Britishers - they have been so welcoming; you wouldn't see anyone more courteous and gentle to me than them. My two British flatmates are there for a warm chat anytime. I should learn to be polite from some of the native people here. Apart from them, a big shout goes out to my other flatmates as well.

I should say it felt nice explaining what turmeric, mustard, and the like was, when you guys peeped in while I was cooking, as much as I felt interested in knowing your kind of food and lifestyle.

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that all you people must have had such a time in a different context in your lives. I hope this read helped you pick on those times to put a smile on your face once again as it did on mine by recollecting all that I have been through over the last 8 months. With prayers and wishes for many more such times for all of us, I sign off.

With wonderful memories,
Viggy.