Friday, June 7, 2013

I like being single...

This is such a pleasure. He would be seeing Switzerland on a blackboard; she would be admiring her pretty face on a utensil. While he would, actually, be at his classroom listening to mundane lectures and she would be washing her cooking vessels.Yes, I am talking about this four-lettered feeling, love. Isn't it such a pleasure?!!!

A lot has been said about it. Heaps of poems, loads of stories and as many as uncountable novel numbers have explored this feeling. Yet, a lot still remains unsaid about love. That is the magic of this feeling. 

I once heard Tamil speaker Barathi Baskar say, "Poets, writers and invariably all creators are beggars to love in order to make a living." How true..!

I could try and put to words how does it feel like to be in love. But, I know I would miserably fail to do justice even. No, I am not a poor writer; such is the feeling, words hardly help. 

Yet, I shall try and put forward my one-liner on love. It is simple and complex; It is as light as a feather and as strong as rock. I am sorry, the line is as lame as it gets. Cliched by any standards. But I will stick with that definition; cliches are cliches for a reason.

Having said what I have about being in love, I wonder why I have never felt an urge to fall into a marital love yet. After serious soul-searching, here I am blogging on it.

To start with, marital love is not something someone goes on a hunt for. It happens without a reason for a reason. While I totally endorse that viewpoint, there needs to be an urge from within for that happening to happen. The lack of which is what I am debating myself on.

If you are already thinking that I have no taste for beauty nor do I like the idea of love, you can't be more wrong. No one can escape the feeling of love; and I am no exception. That's the very feeling that made me a writer-creator, if you readers acknowledge I am one. 

So I feel love yet I like to be single. How do I explain your next obvious question which is, "why the hell would you not want to have a girl friend?"   

True love often is not seen in a human figure. It is always around; in the air, somewhere there. Just that small-minded mankind tries to give a definitive shape to what is everywhere. 

I have often witnessed how even honest love vaporizes once we bottle up such a magnanimous feeling of love into a confined entity. What happens is, we get bored of seeing it in the same form; and end up targeting our emotional baggage of life to that bored and fed up entity which we call the only love. 

Love is forgotten to be in nature, in God, in good music, in language. These are not something we ever get bored of, the reason being they are all formless and everywhere.

Its hard to blame human beings for being human and feeling love in human forms alone. After all, even religion gives us a figure shape for God to make us follow. That is religion understanding what mindset humans are made of. No human is an exception to not be human. Certainly not I; so I will fall to the trap of figurative love too one day. But I would know at the back of my mind, love has other different forms too. 

So maybe as I feel love already as different entities, there is no real urge for me to pick a girlfriend as yet. That is keeping me waiting for an arranged marriage where I shall open up all the bottled love sourced from the other forms of life to my special her. Marriages are made in heaven; I shall leave my choice and destiny to the God I love through my parents. I cannot stop myself from quoting my favourite poet Kannadasan here to compliment my argument,"Manaivi amaivathellam iraivan kodutha varam". 

When I have told friends that I like to be single and gave the reason that I have given above, people have asked if figurative beauty hasn't attracted me at all. To them I replied, there was never a moment when I have let feminine beauty go unnoticed from my eyes. I enjoy beauty in all forms, the beauty possessed by my opposite sex tops the list of all. I only maintain that, it doesn't make me a candidate to fall in love with one such. 

I agree that love affairs initiated by a strong mutual liking to physical appearances have gone on to become epic ones. I understand mutual admiration to beauty and lust are the much needed fodder for love to take firm roots. I believe, only lust can form the medium to make the two into one, both physically and psychologically. Lust is like the oxidant on the tip of a match stick which gives the ever-lasting fire of love

So I have nothing against being committed, it is just that I like being single.

I also feel it is important to be single for a considerable while, because it helps develop a craving sense of affection to the partner we are to find. I often get the idea that the feeling of love is something that is definite. The human mind needs to have a cause for exhibiting love. I say mind, and not heart; because heart can pour indefinite love. But unfortunately, it is the mind that controls human activities in most cases for most individuals. Mind likes playing tit for tat. It argues why should I smile when she stares. So, that is when this being-in-single-time comes in handy. It makes us feel the importance of a companion and value the relationship. That is when the heart unknowingly takes over the mind to make sure it gets the love it desperately wants.

The when-am-I-going-to-find-my-one and who-is-going-to-be-the-one feelings are also a thrilling part of being single. Trust me, there is nothing like falling in love. And so, there is nothing like having to wait for it.

So, I shall happily live with being single for now. This is also a feeling that should be enjoyed as much as the feeling of being in a relationship. 

For committed detractors who think we are to be pitied I end by saying, 'Sorry, we are having a blast; by feeling love in all that we sense.'

Cheers,
the-happily-single-vikinagapps!!!
    

9 comments:

  1. Nice one... I loved the sentence "Lust is like the oxidant on the tip of a match stick which gives the ever-lasting fire of love."

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  2. Even though I dont agree, I like the way you argue your point of not falling in love now. You want to bottle up your feelings for that special her.

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    1. Macha, I appreciate you don't agree. But I don't know why you have preferred to stay single all these days. Or,do u have a girlfriend secretly??!

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    2. It might sound cliched..but the truth is I haven't found the girl of my dreams yet. Am I still looking out? Well, thats another argument.

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  3. If not for the conclusion, the title entirely negates the content. Yes, being single is one of the greatest things we’ll ever have in life. I would have you written more on that. But this so-called love is debatable for centuries to come and go. I don't think someone will ever find a definition of it. I agree on your theory of love on entities. That's because they pleasure us. So, we fall for that. But I am of this opinion, among humans, love isn't something to be dealt with. Yes, love isn’t an objective thing but I could try categorise it such as physical and psychological. You like a girl or something (preferably human) absolutely for some reason. There can’t be a case of attracted-for-no-reason. There's always a reason. I'm no psychologist but I can tell, most cases end up due to this: either lust or the similitude of the minds. But I personally vote for the former one. The latter one most probably end up being friends. Rarely do both be the cause for it.

    As I quote you “..that’s when heart takes over..”, believe me that’s when and where things could go wrong. Feminine beauty certainly not to be missed in a life’s time is one thing but not getting carried away by it is something else.

    I liked your references. I’d say true love is: Ones who live their whole life caring for each other, period. To see the same face over and again every day for years, decades, man, that’s something I have deep respect for. Only that I wish it happens everywhere which in fact not. And if you want my suggestion, raise a dog as your pet. Its love is unconditional which I don't 've to tell you. Allow me to suggest you see a film, if you haven't already seen it: Amour (2012), a French film.

    Writer-creator? Oh, yes I acknowledge.
    Forgive me if I were slightly irrelevant anywhere above.

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    1. Absolutely not, U were totally relevant by giving the argument a new direction. I sort of agree with your Physical and Psychologist categorization for a reason. Sure there needs to be a reason but I only say that reason remains 'unknown' in most cases of love. Getting carried away by feminine beauty is a God given rule for all men. In fact, I don't find it an a danger at all. It can only help in the relationship getting stronger provided the female makes it a point not to dominate using beauty as a tool. Cheers and thanks for your time.

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  4. U hav matured as a writer-creator (i do agree).. U try to justify ur status with all and any.. But I feel tht anybody who goes into an arranged marriage without any experience what so ever of love, be it sweet, bitter or bitter sweet, has a serious task ahead.. It had worked for our parents, but it need not work the same way..

    Searching for eternal love in a person u meet is not the same as searching for a person who you find a soulmate material..

    A bitter love teaches us more in life than a sweet love.. U know wat to expect and wat to not to. You bcm single again after it and it sort of makes you well equiped to share ur life with tht to-be..

    Love is everywhere just as u say.. Ur just being blind to it.. Wen u say u love looking at girls u just acknowledge their beauty and not know hw lovable they are deep inside.. Any love u do not express, experience or exhibit is not worth (hey I mean 'OR' not 'AND')..

    I started typing.. Wen I read back I find no sense.. Lol..

    But having known you for all the years I hav no doubts in my mind tht what worked for our parents wil work for you too.. Gud luck.. Hoping to meet u wid ur spl one soooon!!!

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    1. We are from different schools of thought, yet we entirely respect each others' views (thanks for that last line wish). I guess that is the best part of our friendship since our initial days together,Cheers. And, I totally agree with your point that a love life before marriage MAYBE IMPORTANT, but I sincerely doubt if its NECESSARY to succeed in marriage. I would like your comments on that,please...

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    2. I like your argument of getting-to-know-how-deep-the-well-is-before-jumping. But that sense of jumping without knowing what to expect is exciting, dont you think?
      (I might be contradicting with my above comment, but this is also how I feel). Kinda confused and still trying to find the right argument (or lets say 'attitude') for me.

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